By the post below you can probably tell that I have kept the majority of that bottled up inside for quite sometime – ok, about a month to be fair.   Sometimes you just have to let it out and not keep holding it in.  I definitely think that by holding in stressful things and not airing them contributes to your overall health.  If you hold in stressful things than your body begins to get sick from those unresolved feelings.

I also tend to think that if your feelings are kept bottled up inside that even if they don’t make you sick – as in I feel like I have the flu sick – they also tend to manifest in skin rashes or some other ailment that the doctor can’t figure out quite what is causing it.

So, I had to write that last post.  I just couldn’t keep it in any longer.  Sweet hubby is tired of hearing about it – he won’t do much about it – he still insists upon sending the childish one a present, though as to date his birthday has passed by 7 days and she has yet to send him a card.  Come on!!!  I stopped exchanging birthday presents with my sisters once we were all married and at least one of us had kids.  I have never stopped sending them birthday cards – and one of them flat out refuses to talk to me.  His sisters may send him a gift card via email and once in a great while he might actually get an email card; but that is the extent of it.

With my sisters, we stopped exchanging Christmas presents when we all had kids and then we just bought for the kids – I don’t remember the reason that stopped but I believe it had to do with one of them or their spouses being laid off and money being tight.   Would I have wanted that to stop??  Yes and no.   Yes, because times have gotten harder for everyone and No, because once you lose the time at Christmas with your family – whether it be actually being together or just receiving a package just for yourself in the mail – once you lose that, it seems that you are that much more alone in the world.  The last time that I spent a Christmas celebration with most of my family was when my  20yr old was about 16 months old.  After that it was just spent with the in-laws for part of the holiday and another smaller part of the time with my mother and whomever she was dating or married to at the moment.

When I started dating sweet hubby I knew he had a smaller family than mine (by one less sibling) but I was always told by his mother how close knit and loving they were – pardon me while I choke – and I was really looking forward to being part of a family again.  [I am more close knit and loving with the family that I have created out of what was a friendship first.   I have a woman I call my "other mother"  (though after reading "Coraline" by Neil Gaimen I think I am just going to refer to her as my mother of my heart), her hubby who when I write about him I call Dad Jay; I have a little brother and a little sister in that family who both have spouses, and little brother has a daughter.  This is the family of my heart.]   My in-laws are no more close knit and loving than the family I was born into, so that has left me disappointed.  The fact that after being in the family for over 9yrs I am still treated like an outsider or a despised relative does little to change my perception of them.

So, I thank God every day that I have my family of my heart; who I know I can call and talk to about just about anything, just like ‘real’ family is supposed to be.   To all of them I say Thank YOU!!  Thank YOU for letting me be part of your lives and treating me like family – you make me a very happy person.  Love ya!!